Pity Party
Because of the Lord’s great love, we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” (Lamentations 3: 22-24)
As I continue on my learning adventure with God, He is making me aware that the enemy of my soul never rests. He is always prowling around looking for opportunities to do his worst. He doesn’t fight fair and always kicks you when you’re down. I can’t describe how much it has helped me to know the fight is inevitable, as mentioned in yesterday’s blog. That may sound strange, but God answered my prayer to open my eyes, and now I am seeing the battlefield for what it is: a choice. My choice. Knowing who my enemy is and being aware of his tactics will always give me the upper hand, because I can choose not to fall for his schemes, but rather stand in the full power and truth of God, which is always at my disposal.
Yesterday, after enjoying a victorious day on the battlefield, I was lounging around and mindlessly watching TV way past my bedtime. (Today, that reminds me of King David on his roof, not where he should have been and not doing what he should have been doing.) The enemy saw the open door and rushed in, attacking me, out of nowhere, with thoughts about weight and body image. I haven’t lost a pound in weeks, even after exercising daily, and even though I have felt much better physically, my thoughts instantly went to discouragement. The enemy then unleashed several other unwanted guests, like condemnation, followed by guilt for eating some cookies earlier. Justification showed up and tried his best to rationalize missing a meal earlier in the day. And of course, comparison showed up and wanted me to entertain judgment of others as well. Before I knew it, a full-fledged pity party was underway, and I was the host.
As I saw my thoughts spiralling out of control, I feebly rehearsed a memory verse in my mind, “Do not become weary in doing good, for in the proper season you will reap a harvest if you do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9) This helped for a moment, and then I though of the blog post I had written just that morning about choosing who you will serve.
With all the enemy’s tactics present, it was obvious who I was listening to, and I knew the pity party needed to be shut down immediately. That would mean expelling each lie, selfish desire, and negative thought. My mind needed to be swept clean and replaced with truth.
The truth is that the enemy will attack every area of my life any time he can. I put myself in a situation that had an open door for him to move in, and he took it. I should have stuck to my regular bedtime schedule and gone to bed instead of watching late-night TV, or I could have chosen to read a good book or listen to music to help me sleep. The enemy does prowl around, always looking for opportunities to cause trouble, discouragement, doubt, and discord. Shutting the door is a great way to resist him, and as the Bible says, he will flee.
Finally, I fell asleep, and when I woke up to a new, beautiful day, I looked in the mirror and spoke God’s truth to myself. I read memory verses that refilled my cup and brought joy and truth back into my spirit
The Lord was present at the battle the night before, ready with everything I needed to overcome…..if that was my choice. He was also with me this morning with compassion that never fails. He is my portion. All that I will ever need and so much more! Therefore, I will be faithful in the waiting. He has so much to teach me, and in the proper season, in His perfect timing, I will reap a harvest.
