Relief in Failure

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” – Matthew 11:28-30

I am a perfectionist by nature and when I set my mind to do something, I can wear myself out making it happen. This mentality puts so much pressure on my performance, productivity, and accomplishments that there doesn’t seem to be any room for enjoying the project or the process.

This week I failed at writing a blog post for each day. My goal at the beginning of the year was not to miss a day and up until Monday, that goal was being accomplished. The downside was that I had become stressed and worried about doing what God has given me to do, a beautiful calling that should be exciting, joyful, and inspiring.

As I was fighting off fatigue from a seasonal cold, I knew I was not going to meet my deadline for writing a new blog. In desperation, I thought of writing something, anything just so a post would be completed. But I knew in my heart that if it wasn’t from God, it shouldn’t be written and at that moment I had nothing. So I missed a day. Then another one and then another one. I began to mentally beat myself up when I received a loving message from God that went something like this;

“That goal, that burden of perfection, was not My will for you. It was your own ambition and pride and it has caused you to miss the entire purpose of your calling. But now that you failed at achieving your goal, you can stop worring about a perfect record and simply enjoy the calling I have for you. You will not have a perfect writing year, but you will have an incredible year of time with Me. Come, rest in the peace that I intended for you all along. You no longer have to live under that pressure to perform. Take up your calling and experience all that I have planned for you. One day at a time. Just you and I.”

He then blessed me with the outline for the next 20 posts followed by letting me experience the most incredible relief in failure. I was free from the wrong expectations that I had placed on myself and was able to truly lay my burdens down and find rest. His yoke is so much lighter than the weight of perfection that I had chosen to carry. He reminded me that this whole blessing of writing is a journey with Him where I get the opportunity to learn from the Master, to spend time with Him, and to share with others the amazing and wonderful things that He shows me and teaches me.

Thank you Lord!