Perfect Love
The last few weeks have certainly given me many things to consider. When you submit to God’s refinement you need to be prepared for anything and I’m learning that God never wastes a teaching moment. I knew that I had some issues that needed to be addressed and changed, but I’m beginning to feel that God also wants to tackle the issues that I don’t want to face and even some that I didn’t know I had.
Just so you know, I believe that God is in this refinement every step of the way and I know that He’s calling me to this place at this time for His purpose.
Having said that, I also know that the process at times may be difficult, humbling and will require me to remember when He reveals my shortcomings and failures, that He is doing this for my own good; to make me more like Him and a woman after God’s own heart.
One of those revelations came while reading a few lines in a book that said, “(she) was able to see the chains of perfectionism that had bound her for so many years.” Instantly I knew that I was that woman.
I am a perfectionist. While there are some qualities about perfectionism that can be helpful there are many that lead to other issues like a self-righteous attitude. As a perfectionist I am not a procrastinator and find myself having little to no grace for those who are. In fact I often find myself picking at little details all the time.
With that self-righteous attitude I find myself doing the things that God asks of me, but with the wrong heart which leads to comparing my actions with others while judging their commitment and intentions. This leads to wrongful expectations from others and myself.
As I pondered the issue of being a perfectionist the thought came to me that in all the years of striving for perfection what I was really wrestling with was a fear of not measuring up to expectations and if I didn’t measure up, then I wasn’t accepted or good enough. And if I wasn’t accepted or good enough than I wasn’t lovable. Again it all comes back to love. I have been doing to others what I hated most being done to me.
Well, there’s the ugly truth. Ouch.
My lessons in refining are starting to become like puzzle pieces, fitting together with one another to form a bigger picture. If I have true Christ like love for others then my motives will be pure and I will extend grace where needed. There will be no desire to compare or criticize because my responses would be to build up and encourage.
Digging deeper I’m reminded of the verse that was shared a few days ago from Ephesians 3:18, “I pray that you will be able to understand how wide and how long and how high and how deep His love is.” When we feel loved we can’t help but share love with others and desire what it best for them.
The word says, “We need have no fear of someone who loves us perfectly; his perfect love for us eliminates all dread of what he might do to us. If we are afraid, it is for fear of what he might do to us and shows that we are not fully convinced that he really loves us.” (1 John 4:18)
That is the way the God loves us, perfectly, even when we mess up or don’t do everything just perfectly. His love never fails. I want the people in my life to know without a doubt that I love and care about them and the way that I can be more mindful in showing them is to remove the plank from my own eye. Get rid of the perfectionist mindset and self-righteous attitude that can make them feel judged and unloved.
Show them grace from the same heart that received more than my share of grace. Stop comparing and criticizing and instead build up and encourage. Basically love them like Jesus does. Love them for who they are and be thankful that they are part of my life.
God disciplines those He loves and the more time I spend with Him, even when I’m being corrected, the more I and convinced just how much He loves me and having that assurance that I’m deeply loved makes me want to help others feel the same.
My Prayer
Father, thank you for opening my eyes to bigger issues that I need to address. I am so touched and humbled that You care about every detail and You encourage change through love. I know You love me Lord and I pray that I will begin to love others the same way, unconditional, whole heartedly and without abandon. Thank you for change and the excitement of working with You to become a new creation. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Where does my help come from?
1 John 4:18
There is no fear in love. Perfect love puts fear out of our hearts. People have fear when they are afraid of being punished. The man who is afraid does not have perfect love.
Perfect love casts out fear