My God My Everything

One morning as I sat in my living room I was looking out at all the new snow and I began to take in the moment.  The Christmas tree was all lit up, Brock’s tree was decorated with memories, stockings were hung by the fireplace, the scent of cinnamon from the scented pine cones filled the air and I was warm and comfortable drinking a cup of hot coffee.  It was just perfect and I felt right at home.   Then I realized that I had stood at that same window exactly one year before looking out feeling so displaced, so exhausted, so fearful and discouraged.  It felt like a…

Technology….it’s great when it works properly or the way I would like it to.  But when it doesn’t or when my limited knowledge of it doesn’t produce the right results, it can be very frustrating.  This process of learning how to blog has been quite an adventure.  My husband told me there’s a Youtube video for just about everything and I think he’s right.   When I first started one of the options was to try creating the blog myself with the programs I had researched or I could pay someone to do it for me.  The process was intimidating so the second option looked most appealing.  But that’s not…

Moving in, where do you begin?  The house had been swept clean and the remodeling had begun.  We were living in the house during the remodeling so there would continue to be a lot of sweeping and minimal things were moved in so we could live there.   One morning as I was reading through one of my favorite commentaries, “Through the Bible with J. Vernon McGee,” I was reminded that the most important thing to do before continuing was to invite Jesus into the home.  J Vernon McGee told about a sign he had read in a friend’s home that said, “Joy is the flag that is flown in…

Closing day had finally arrived after more delays than I want to remember.  Our signing time was scheduled for 2 pm and it was my last morning in our home.  Tracy had to work that morning and would meet me just in time to load up the final items and say goodbye.   At first I was frustrated at being left alone to finish up the cleaning, but the truth was I was worried that the closing would be delayed again and I was tired of riding the emotional roller coaster.   As I cleaned the house I thought of the family that would be moving in and how they had…

After touring many homes, being out bid on homes, searching for a rental, desperate for a home, we finally bought a home!  That was quite a process.  We would be scheduled to see homes and before we arrived they were sold.  The market had really picked up and the options were getting limited.  We looked into renting, but it cost more than buying a home to resale.   We had made a full price offer on a home and I was sure we would get it, but it didn’t happen.  I was very disappointed and began feeling desperate.  We had to be out of our home in less than a…

While packing I came across a letter I had written to Brock in 2008.  It mentioned all the times we spent in our rocking chair and how precious it was to me.  Then it mentioned letting go of something in order to move on.  Never forgetting – but moving forward in a healing way.  Oh how the tears flowed.   The house we bought was smaller than our current home and would require that we downsize the furniture and household items that we would bring with us.  The rocking chair would not be going with us.  I couldn’t give it to a thrift store because I was too attached.  I…

Throughout the whole process of deciding to move and actually moving, there were several changes or course corrections.  It started off as possibly building a new home, then went to buying an older home and remodeling, then renting and back to remodeling.  As a planner you can imagine how all this change really cramped my style.   Needless to say I had many moments of irritation and most of them were directed to Tracy because it was his idea to move in the first place.  Well not really, it was God’s idea and Tracy was a much more willing participant that I was.  As I mentioned in previous posts, God…

By nature I’m a planner.  My husband teases me that I pack for trips weeks before and he throws a few clothes in a suitcase the day of and is ready to go.  Sometimes I remind him of a camping trip he took with our oldest son Mitch while I was away on a business trip.  He said they were able to get everything in the truck with room to spare, but when I go with them everything including the kitchen sink is packed.  But then I asked, “How was your food and did you stay warm?”  On that particular trip the answers were, “not very good and no, we…

The holidays always tend to be extra busy and it seems like more demands are made all the time.  In the travel industry it is the busy season and that’s expected.  But, no matter how planned out or prepared I might feel, it always seems to stress me out and I feel burned out and relieved when they are over.   As I answer phones or help customers in my office, I always say, “How can I help you?”  It’s said with sincerity and I do want to do the best I can for them.  In addition to customers there are family responsibilities, holiday events and expectations to add to…

I was watching a commercial about St. Jude’s Hospital the other night and several cute little cancer patients were speaking out against that terrible disease.  Each little person pulled on my heart strings.  One mother was crying and said she wonders if her child will make it.  My heart was breaking for her, I’ve been there and felt that.  My heart goes out to each of them and the road ahead for them.  Regardless of the outcome it’s a hard road.   Later that night while relaxing in a hot bubble bath the question came to mind, “Do you have the same heart towards the lost?”  Does the thought of…