Knowing Jesus

Today is Brock’s anniversary. Twenty years ago today he closed his sweet little eyes while lying in my lap and opened them up a moment later in the presence of Jesus.

I still think of the song I heard that morning called arise shine. The words were, “Arise shine for your light has come and the glory of the Lord rises on you.” I pictured angels singing this as he entered into heaven and met Jesus. I imagined that cute little boy running into Jesus’ arms and hugging Him tightly. Then sitting on his lap and telling Him all about his great adventure. I believe Jesus said, “Well done Brock!”

I’m often asked if I wonder what he would look like now or what he would be doing. To me he will be forever 5. It’s hard to imagine him older, but I can imagine what he is doing.

One time when my faith was faltering and I was at a loss for words, Brock told me that he was going to die soon and that he would be with Jesus and there was no better place than that. He encouraged me with his faith. Not only did he have incredible faith, but he really enjoyed singing during worship service on Sundays. He would stay upstairs with the adults and hold my hand. We would interlock our pinkies and give pinky hugs while we sang. It always brought a smile to my face.

On Easter Sunday as I was singing in worship service I remembered our pinkies and interlocked my own. In that moment I knew he was worshiping at the throne of God. We were again worshiping together and he was still encouraging me to have a deeper faith.

One of his favorite songs was Knowing You and it has been a beautiful reminder to me over the years about what really matters; Knowing Jesus.

All I once held dear, built my life upon
All this world reveres, and wars to own
All I once thought gain I have counted loss
Spent and worthless now, compared to this Knowing you, Jesus
Knowing you, there is no greater thing
You’re my all, you’re the best
You’re my joy, my righteousness
And I love you, Lord Now my heart’s desire is to know you more
To be found in you and known as yours
To possess by faith what I could not earn
All-surpassing gift of righteousness Oh, to know the power of your risen life
And to know You in Your sufferings
To become like you in your death, my Lord
So with you to live and never die

Jesus knew that cancer would take us to a hospital where He had sent believers to pray for us.

Jesus provided a job that would result in riding with a believer who shared the love of Christ.

Jesus gave believers the boldness to invite our family to church.

Jesus gave the pastor the message to share that we were loved.

Jesus saved us.

Jesus taught me about faith through the faith of my child.

Jesus taught me what really matters, knowing Him.

Knowing that Jesus is Lord gives me hope in the promises that He made. Thank you Lord…. I know Brock is alive with You!

My prayer

Father, I love You! I’m so blessed that You know every detail and have provided for every moment. Thank you for the opportunity to be Brock’s mom. I believe Your plan for me is good. I want to know You more and to share You with others so that they too will know that there is no better place than being with You. In Jesus name, amen.

Where does my hope come from?

John 17:3

“Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent.”