Fit at 50 – My Esther Project - My God My Everything

As my year progressed the closer I was getting to a milestone in my life, my 50th birthday. I’ve never been one to worry about turning another year older and I enjoy celebrating birthdays with others. I think of birthdays as your day or as a day to celebrate that person being in your life.

I feel that way because my boys liked them so much, especially Brock. He liked them so much he wanted to make sure he had one more before he went to Jesus. So I guess it’s a privilege to be able to celebrate them, a privilege I’ve had for almost 50 years, and I don’t want to waste it.

I was thinking about what I wanted to achieve by my birthday and the list included:

being the healthiest I have been in years
being at my goal weight
look and feel younger
act younger

To achieve all of these goals is going to take hard work and time. I’ve been realizing that part of my year of change has included my body, mind, health and well being, whether I like it or not. I have aches and pains that I didn’t have before. I get tired quicker and it’s harder to lose weight. Grey hair returns more quickly and my cholesterol has been slowing inching up the last few years. Needless to say, there is work to do.

At first I thought that simple determination would do the trick, but when I finished an 18 week HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) program, my results were zero pounds lost, sore muscles and better endurance. I was discouraged to say the least. It was then that I finally asked God what He would recommend because over the years I’ve tried everything and here I was, back at the same point I was 2, 5, 10 and 15 years ago. I know this because I also have keep track of weight and measurements over the years.

Guess what He recommended? Change what you’re doing if you want a different result. In re-reading my journals that’s exactly what I had been doing, the same thing over and over. Each time it had a different name, but essentially it was the same thing. So I decided it was time to change.

Excessive exercising wasn’t going to do the trick, but I do need to use variety and stay active. I have two sweet little granddaughters that I want to chase around the yard, go hiking with and so much more, I don’t want to be out of breath and unable to participate.

I am a bread lover and I like to cook, but having a restrictive diet may work for awhile, but as a creature of habit, I go right back to my favorite foods. There has to be a balance where food is concerned and eating healthier will fix the cholesterol problem.

Then I had to be realistic. This was not going to happen over night or in 18 weeks. It would take time and I had to give it time to work and to become a lifestyle.

Not only did God help me see that I needed to change, He also gave me an example from the Bible, with the story of Esther. This young girl was given a year in a beautification process to be prepared to meet the king. She was already chosen as a beautiful candidate, but more was required. In researching this story a little deeper I came across something that really helped me understand what God was trying to show me.

“At first glance the beautification process seems vain and bigoted. It appears to be purely physical, but delving deeper it is actually an inward beautification that overflows on the outside as well. This was a process of purification, renewal, healing and cleansing. The outcome was not just a physical change, but a change from within that shined outwardly.” (Preparing to Meet Your King – Emily Lauren Townsend)

The goals that I had set for myself seemed very vain after I read this. That’s why God wanted me to see this description about the process, there was so much more to it than I ever understood. He wants my transformation to be from within. As I begin to think differently, I will act differently and I will see results. The kind of results that God wants to see.

He was also telling me to be patient. Quick change is not lasting, take time to enjoy the process. So I set the goal date as my birthday which would give me 7 months. Everything started great, but as time continues, I had hoped to see results faster than I’m seeing them. I’m learning that it’s because I am still seeing only the outward view. There are so many things changing on the inside that are of greater importance.

Sometimes the process feels tedious and I wondered if parts of it are really necessary. I remember one night as I was rubbing lotion onto my feet and elbows before going to bed, the thought came of skipping my evening routine just for tonight. Immediately another thought came, “Do you think Esther felt the same way? She had a full year of treatments.” On the small scale, lotion skipped one night is no big deal, but on the deeper scale does that reveal a heart that is willing to cut corners for convenience?

Another comment from the article I read said, “Today, not many ladies want to wait for their King, they don’t want to go through the process that God has set aside for them to prepare to be Women of God. I urge you to submit to the beautification process that God has designed for you, without it you may never fully become the wonderfully designed woman God designed you to be. Yes, I know the process seems like it takes forever, but really in the big scheme of your life it’s not a huge amount of time.”

My Fit at 50 – Esther Project will be way more that a quick fad diet. God has a much bigger picture and the process is almost more important than the outcome. The process will be more time with God, seeing myself as He sees me and created me to be, learning to look at the heart, not the outward appearance. This is much more than skin deep. Rather than try and skip the process of change, I can be thankful that God is giving me the time and ways to make the changes. He is going to teach me it’s about inward appearance, not my reflection in the mirror or the number on the scale.

A final statement from the article is how I would like to be when I finish God beautification project in me. “It was the beauty of who she was not what she looked like. It was her whole being, she was refreshingly honest, graceful and not self-seeking in all she did. More importantly, she was a woman of God.”

My prayer

Father, thank you for listening to me and showing me what I was unable to see all these years. You have a process for me and I pray that I will embrace it fully and trust in Your timing and way. Change me. Help me to become a Woman of God that is not self-seeking and vain. A woman that can see the beauty within myself and others and encourage other women to see themselves as the beautiful ladies that they are. Thank you for time, for birthdays and goals. You make life fun Lord. Thank you. Amen.

Where does my help come from?

1 Samuel 16:7

“But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

Psalm 139:13-16

“For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.”