Fear
I read a book called Bread of Angels by Tessa Afshar. It was a fictional story based on Lydia from the Bible. In Acts 16:14 (MSG) the bible describes her as follows, “On the Sabbath, we left the city and went down along the river where we had heard there was to be a prayer meeting. We took our place with the women who had gathered there and talked with them. One woman, Lydia, was from Thyatira and a dealer in expensive textiles, known to be a God-fearing woman. As she listened with intensity to what was being said, the Master gave her a trusting heart—and she believed!
Lydia is one of my favorite bible characters because she chose to know God and followed Him with all she had. I would like to be described like her someday. Launa was seeking God, meeting with others, was a God-fearing woman, who listened with intensity and the Lord responded to her by giving her a trusting heart – and she believed.
Sadly that doesn’t always describe me, especially the part of a trusting heart. I have battled with fear for many years. I know it stemmed from losing Brock and at times I have allowed fear to take over my thinking, my actions and my peace. Even though God has repeatedly shown me that I can trust Him.
A section in the book really caught my attention:
My enemy – fear – who hounds me
“How did you know that I saw the image of fear more vividly that I did the face of God? That he always seemed more real, more powerful, more immediate than the creator of the sun and the moon? That I could only perceive God from behind the shadow of fear, that I always felt a little separated from His love?”
The writer referred to fear as “a makhaira – a single-edged sword which has a short blade, forcing the enemy to come close, so that as your body gives way to the thrust of that unforgiving edge, all you can see is the face of your assassin. You forget the world, you forget the ones you love, you forget hope and lose your fragile grasp on any remnant of a fight lingering in your heart.”
“I know what it’s like to have a makhaira at my throat. I know my enemy’s face. I know the scent of his breath, the stinging quality of his speech, the poison of his taunts. He has cut me more than once with his short sword. I know his name. He is called fear. He has hounded me from the time he first found me.”
That is what I’ve done, seen fear more vividly than I see God. Over and over my mind has listened to the “what ifs” that the enemy has taunted me with. I’ve rationalized that I am only mentally preparing myself should the worst happen. But the truth is, when the worst has happened, God was the one who gave me comfort, God was the one who held me, God was the one who strengthened me and God is the one that is still right beside me giving me hope.
Like the analogy of the short sword, the enemy tries to get close to strike a blow. When I listen to fear I am allowing the enemy to get close to me. Each time I entertain thoughts that fuel the fear he steps closer and closer. Why would anyone allow their enemy to get within striking range? It’s a battle and being in striking range is dangerous and deadly.
The good news is that we have a double edge sword. “For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” And if that wasn’t enough God says, “Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you.” We have God and His word!
At one of the ladies bible studies we had been studying the Armor of God and using the sword of the spirit to fight off the enemy. We each had a sword and shield in hand and a list of empowering bible verses. Rather than just read them from the page we had to stand, hold up our shields and as we said the verse we swung the sword. At first we were slowly waving the swords, but as we continued down the list we started swinging the swords with passion as if we really were fighting an enemy. It was incredible the strength that came from actively speaking God’s word.
This exercise showed us that our view of the enemy shrinks and he retreats when God is present. By speaking His word out loud we began to see God more than we saw the enemy. It was such an empowering experience and it’s true, when I speak God’s words at my fears, no matter how many times I have to repeat it, the fear goes away. When I feel beaten down and afraid, if I will stop for a moment and say, “Is this true?” and if it’s not, speak truth to it, I will overcome that fear.
This book was a timely gift from God. He was reminding me to trust Him and believe that He, the God of the Universe is in complete control and He loves me.
My prayer
Micah 7:7 – But as for me, I will look to the Lord;
I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me
Father, Please forgive my doubts. You have given me everything I need to know You more and completely trust in You. Help me remember that when the enemy looks big, You are bigger. When he seems strong, You are stronger. When he lies, You speak truth. When trials come, You are always present and faithful. Give me a trusting heart. Amen
Where does my help come from?
Ephesians 6:10-12
“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”
Philippians 4:8
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”