Do Unto Others

I’ve been reading a book called Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas and it has caused me to think deeply about several things. In the book the author mentions that our marriages and other relationships are valuable tools that God uses to build character within us. We are called by God to become the best versions of ourselves and to do that He has blessed us with many different relationships and circumstances that will refine us and shape us.

Our relationships are a gift from God and provide many opportunities to learn communication skills, compromise, patience, forgiveness, grace and love. The author challenges the reader to look at those moments in your marriage (or other relationships) when you are frustrated, angry or discouraged as character building moments that will draw you closer to God. “The more difficult something is, the more spiritually beneficial we will find it to be as it builds our character.”

It is only natural when facing all these challenges that our souls cry out to God in relief and it’s in crying out to God that we place ourselves in the humble position to grow in the likeness of Christ.

In those moments if we can turn our thinking to whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, excellent or praiseworthy, then we will be able to respond in a way that will honor God.

After reading this I thought about the bible verse that says, “do unto others as you would have them do to you, ” which is meant to remind us to treat other people with the concern and kindness that you would like shown toward you. Now take that thought a step further. Are you doing for them to receive something in return or are you doing it with a mindset that you are doing it as if for Christ with no strings attached? No hidden agendas. No exceptions that the kindness will be reciprocated.

Many times I have done things for my spouse or other people with the hope that they would treat me the same way and then became angry and even bitter when they didn’t. I don’t believe that is expectant life that Jesus meant. Rather, I believe that He meant to do things from a servants heart that expects nothing in return but serves for the simple joy of making a difference in someone elses’ life. In other words, selfless.

In God’s perfect way of teaching me through practice, He had me purchase massage oil and foot lotion so I could give my husband a much needed shoulder and back rub followed by a foot massage, all without expecting the same in return.

After returning home from a long work day I began chatting with my husband. I asked him if he felt like a shoulder rub. He responded that I didn’t need to do that because I was tired too. I told him I would like to because he had mentioned the stiffness in his neck the day before.

Watching him relax as I rubbed the sore muscles was so rewarding. I began to think of how hard he works to provide for us and the struggles he faces daily to be the man God created him to be. He thanked me for taking the time to make him feel valued and that melted my heart.

Later in the week he mentioned that he noticed all the extra effort that I had been giving to our marriage lately and it made him want to do more as well. We enjoyed a wonderful evening of simply talking with each other and listening as we shared the frustrations that we were both experiencing. There was safety in revealing our vulnerability to each other and to ask for forgiveness for our shortcomings. It felt like the heaviness had lifted and we were both ready to refocus and make each other a priority. God is so good!

It felt wonderful to do something for someone else without expecting anything in return. The truth is that God rewarded me more than having my own massage or foot rub. He gave me joy is serving someone else. He softened my heart towards my husband and showed me that doing unto others is really doing unto Christ.

My Prayer

Father, thank you for the cleaver and beautiful ways You teach me. Thank you for my husband and the man that he is. Thank you for blessing me with him in my life. Help me to continue to make my marriage a priority and to see relational challenges as character building opportunities. I Love You Lord. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Where does my help come from?

Philippians 4:8

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Matthew 7:12

This is what our Scriptures come to teach: in everything, in every circumstance, do to others as you would have them do to you.