Deep Soul Weariness

Why, my soul, are you downcast?
    Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
    for I will yet praise him,
    my Savior and my God. – Psalm 42:11

Several months ago I was led to purchase a new bible study called, When Strivings Cease, by Ruth Chou Simons. I received it during a very busy season at work and decided to begin the study when things slowed down a bit. Little did I know that I would be living out just about everything the study taught about striving and the result was deep soul weariness.

I was burnt out, tired, frustrated, disappointed and hurting all because I was striving to obtain the wrong things. My focus was on finding acceptance in relationships, finding value in my job, finishing to-do lists and appearing as if I had it all together. No wonder I was exhausted and weary. Those things will never truly satisfy and I had put all my time and effort into them rather than trusting in Jesus for the fulfillment I was looking for.

Many times throughout the study I cried because I could relate to the weariness and emptiness that accompanies striving and I could feel the Lord’s presence encouraging me to keep seeking Him and what He was trying to teach me. He wanted me to stop trying to do it all in my own efforts.

He was telling me, “Come to me.” “Cast your anxieties on me for I care for you.” (1 Peter 5:7) “Trust in me with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5-7), “and you will find rest for your soul.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

It took me the entire study before it finally clicked, I needed to surrender to Him, trust Him and rest in Him. I was given a beautiful mental picture of walking into the throne room of God, Jesus standing there with open arms as I buried my face in His chest and cried. His loving arms wrapped around me and I was reminded that I am His. I am loved. I am treasured and valued as His beloved daughter. I no longer need to strive for the things that will never bring the peace, hope, comfort and joy that trusting in Jesus promises.

My weary soul smiled today as my burdens were lifted.