Anchor for My Soul

The last month was quite emotional for me. It’s hard to explain but I’ll do my best. Each year I know that April 27th is coming. I try to think of other things and keep myself busy with positive projects to avoid dwelling on the date. But it seems that the more I try to not think of it the more I do.

I first notice a difference inside. Little things become bigger than they should and I have this feeling of uneasiness. At first I’ll think I’m just having a bad day or that I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and the next day it will be a little better.

But the uneasiness grows and begins to swirl and before I know it everyone and everything puts me on edge. You could say, “Boo,” and I would cry. Over the years I’ve referred to this as, “I’m just having a moment.” It’s then that I realize deep in my mind and heart I’m remembering each and every day that led up to April 27th.

Then I try to over compensate for the sadness and it just adds to the emotional storm that is brewing. At times I fill like I’m caught in a pit and being pulled down deeper and deeper. I try to get myself out, but it feels like I’m drowning. I need something to hold on to; I need my anchor, but an anchor is only good if it’s attached.

I’ve learned that sometimes it’s best to take a few days off and spend them with God just talking and being with Him. With God I can be the most natural form of me. I can cry without trying to look like I have it all together. I can tell Him everything and know that He loves me even when I’m weak. He hears me and understands every detail.

As I spend time with Him I can feel myself being pulled from the pit and I begin to feel like I can breathe again. The uneasiness starts to settle and I can see the light ahead as the storm clears.

This is the first year that I’ve understood this season to be a gift from God. With His lessons on Godly perspective I see this as a time to deliberately get away with God and renew my soul.

The enemy intends it to be a time of sadness that draws me away from God and others. But God uses it for good to spend one on one time with me and renew and refresh me for the next season.

I’m extremely blessed that the timing is around Easter, my favorite holiday of the year. God is so good! He is the anchor for my soul. He has set my feet back on a rock and put a new song in my heart. Thank you Lord!

My Prayer

Father, thank you for rescuing me again. Seeing this with Godly perspective has made such a difference and I’m so blessed that You want to spend one on one time with me. Thank you for the peace and comfort and for the renewing of my soul. You are so good Lord. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Where does my help come from?

Hebrews 6:18-19

“God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope set before us may be greatly encouraged. We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.”

Psalm 40:1-3

“I waited patiently for the Lord;
    he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
    out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
    and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,
    a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the Lord
   and put their trust in him.”